Did you hear the dreaded “I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you”? Did your spouse suddenly transform into a new person you can barely recognize? Do you find yourself staring at divorce papers and wondering where it all went wrong?

This book is for you. 

DIVORCE PANIC - A Guide for Men Starting Over in Life

MEN: do you find yourself in a new chapter of your life... one that you never asked for? are you struggling to come to terms with your new reality? Not sure what got you here? YOU'RE NOT ALONE.

I wrote DIVORCE PANIC for heterosexual men that have endured a failed long-term relationship with a woman and are having a difficult time picking up the pieces and starting over in life. This book will appeal especially to those men who have discovered that their wives committed infidelity. For these men, life as they know it was completely turned upside down. I understand the confusion, the despair, and the anger that you are going through. I went through it all, too. You need a little help, a little boost, to help you understand it all and to get you up and over the wall. That’s what this book is for.

Maybe there was no cheating. Maybe you just had a long-term partner that suddenly broke up with you, and you’re trying to understand what happened and how to move forward in life. For you, consider this book a lesson in both why your breakup may have happened and how you can avoid a ton of trouble with women in your future (yes, there will be more women). Learn from all of us who have been there and done that.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, as they say.

What’s inside the book?


Over the past several years of running Dad Starting Over, I’ve coached and spoken one-on-one with well over 1,000 guys…


I wrote this book for heterosexual men that have endured a failed long-term relationship with a woman…


Steve’s email to me was very typical for readers of my site at dadstartingover.com. All the situations are roughly the same, yet they all think they’re unique in their own special blend of “awful”. 


You hear it all the time: “I remember it like it was yesterday.” It’s true. With traumatic moments comes crystal clear recollection.

Chapter 1: IT'S OVER

Did you catch your wife cheating on you?

We are engineered to become addicted to our romantic partners.

Stop chasing.


Dave booked a one-on-one session with me after reading my book, “The Dead Bedroom Fix”. I read his pre-meeting summary to me, and I was a bit confused. 

chapter 2: Why did this happen?

That’s the million-dollar question we all want the answer to, right?

We’ve removed many of the “constraints” around marriage.

Modern-day marriage isn’t for everyone.

Monogamy, and marriage in particular, lessens a woman’s sexual desire and overall zest for life.

There are lots of opportunities to step outside of the marriage.



“Nice” Guy Syndrome

Putting a woman on the pedestal.

She lost respect for you.

Other women lost interest in you, and you lost interest in other women.

She became your mother.

She’s just crazy.

Jim's story

Jim was a very successful businessman in charge of a large, multi-generation, family-owned business. 

chapter 3: what you can expect moving forward

Why is she acting this way?

Nobody cares.

You will detach.

Craig's story

Craig’s story was a little different from most. His divorce seemed to be truly amicable. 

chapter 4: the relationship game

Dating again

Lover vs. Provider

The search for real love

Be more like a woman

Neediness and social anxiety


The secret to picking up women

The delicate balancing game


Phil went through the hell of divorce and came out on the other side looking pretty good.

Chapter 5: focus on you

Keep busy

Take care of your body

Take care of your mind

Hang out with men



I often say you shouldn’t let trauma define you as a person. This is coming from the guy who started a website, podcast, a wrote four books, has hundreds of articles, a YouTube channel, and an international men’s group, and offers one-on-one coaching… all because my wife left me after a twenty-year relationship. 

About the Author

Hello, my name is Ralph, but you may know me as “DSO”, the founder of Dad Starting Over and the DSO Fraternity. I’m 47, married for the second time, and father of four kids. I learned a lot from my failed first marriage, my wonderful second marriage, and from the thousands of men I communicate with in coaching sessions and online in our DSO Fraternity discussion groups. This book, “Divorce Panic” is a culmination of the knowledge that has been passed down to me over the years. I hope you learn a great deal from it. Please let me know what you think!


Join Us!

If you like Divorce Panic, you’ll be sure to love dadstartingover.com. Hundreds of free articles, podcasts, and more. Be sure to check out our members-only group called the DSO Fraternity! It’s made up of hundreds of men all over the world just trying to do better in life. We have private online discussion groups, live member meetings over zoom (all recorded and archived), a members-only podcast, articles for members, access to all of DSO’s books no additional charge, and discounts on one-on-one coaching.